Man Up

So you frequently get patients who touch you but occasionally you get one that you can't get out of your mind. These are the patients that impact your career. I've picked up maybe about 6 along the way so far and I think I've added my 7th. This was a patient I recently a teen mom first child. Now on the resident service this is nothing unusual. She got really late prenatal care b/c she was afraid to tell her parents. Once she told them though she got really good care b/c my guess is she comes from a middle class family. I think the thing that struck me was that she looked so scared about becoming a mother (a lot of my young moms actually seem like they're excited abt the prospect....the baby is a toy) She was kinding looking to her mother to answer all the questions and I was working with her to understand that she was somebody's mother now. But as I sat there one morning making my mommy rounds I realized the thing that bothers me about some of these teen pregnancies was where is the father? I mean I understand that most people at 16,17, 20, 21 are not not finding the love of their life and 9 months is a long time for a teen relationship but seriously the kid is both parents. I like it when I at least see the guy there for the delivery at morning rounds or leaving a phone number or note for me to update them on what is going on with their baby. I can see in these interactions that he has no plans to be a part of the mother's life at least not in the manner that brought the child into this world (and I hope that these young women can see that too) but they're there at least for now in that childs life. So yeah as I looked at that patient and I saw her fear and uncertainty I couldn't help but wonder if the father was sitting somewhere with the same feelings. My gut tells me no but my heart wants to tell me yes.