No I'm not a mother or planning to be one anytime in the near future. However I'm on the vampire patrol this week (night float) and so I'm watching dr Phil (I know I usually can't stand him) but it was on stay at home vs working moms. An interesting topic to me on a # of levels. 1) I spend a lot of time giving anticipatory guidance on being a working mom. 2) If I ever become a mom I'll be a working mom. 3) I see it as one other way that women tear each other down.
I think society tears down women regardless of the choices they make and that makes me quite sad. I'm mad that a consideration in my mind as to whether I want children is based on the fact that I also want a career. Decisions I feel men don't have to make. Anyway must run. Work calling. Save lives stomp out disease....ok maybe look at more runny noses and red ears and asthma (ugh)
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I am also sadden by the way society treats women in that regard too.
ReplyDeleteIt is a difficult thing to maneuver. When you get attached to your baby, its hard to leave them to go back to work. I'm fortunate to still be in school, so that Jae and I have an extended period of time to make the transition. But sometimes I have to make decisions between what is best for her and what is best for me. So the guilt doesn't all come from outside - there is a lot of internal guilt as well. Also, if you're trying to breastfeed, it's difficult for many of women to find time (and space) to pump at work, which means that they tend to wean earlier than the recommended time frame (again, guilt). Each person has to weigh their individual situation and make their own set of difficult decisions, so I don't see how anyone can look at another woman's/couple's situation and decide that they would have done "better."
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